Brian Damage

2006-07-21T15:31:00.000-07:00

Me: "What are the three greatest words in the English language?"
Rachel: "There. Is. Cake."
Me: "I was thinking of Chocolate. Cake. Now....

....but I'll accept your answer."

2006-07-21T14:47:00.000-07:00

2006-07-21T06:00:00.000-07:00

Survey: anagrams of Teri Hatcher:

1. ARC ETHER HIT or THEIR RACHET?
2. ARCHER TITHE or THE RARE ITCH?
3. ART CHIT HERE or THE HAT CRIER?
4. CAR HIT THREE or RETIRE HATCH?
5. CHAIR TETHER or RACE THITHER?
6. CHATTER HEIR or HERETIC HART?
7. EARTH THRICE or HER RICH TEAT?
8. EITHER CHART or HEART THRICE?
9. ETCH HARRIET or HEAR CHITTER?
10. HATE RICHTER or HATTER REICH?

2006-07-20T21:35:00.001-07:00

Fortune cookie narrative:

The only rose without a thorn is friendship. Use your charm and personality to your advantage.

2006-07-20T21:35:00.000-07:00

PF Chang's: chicken fried rice; Coke

2006-07-20T15:45:00.000-07:00

Haagen-Dazs!

2006-07-20T11:18:00.000-07:00

Number of women who have complimented my pens this morning: 4

2006-07-20T06:00:00.000-07:00

If Bee Thousand had been recorded in Derry

You say when, so you do, and I say I'm falling, so I am

There's something in this deal for everyone, so there is

In the first place it's probably just paranoia, so it is

She screams, so she does, and she cries, so she does, and ignores all the stares

Said, "I am a thigh man, so I am"

And the sunshine fund was low, so it was

To see you sight unseen is worse, so it is

And all of a sudden I'm relatively sane, so I am

Well then that's my move, so it is

And you were not fine, so you weren't

Danger's always there to follow, so it is

The popular mechanics are at it again, so they are

And all around the hunting ground the dead were on display, so they were

When she speaks the flag unfurls, so it does

Dee dee dee dee dee dee dee, hi

Jimmy was a fly, so he was

I've lost all my money to a 300 pound ghost, so I have

The hole I dig is bottomless, so it is

Your house always looks so nice, so it does

The race is yet to come, so it is

2006-07-19T22:02:00.000-07:00

Why my career in comedy never really took off:

Q. What singer can you use to buy condoms?
A. Johnny Cash

2006-07-19T20:46:00.000-07:00

Descriptions from the Fall 2006 CB2 catalogue which can also be applied to me

Use with mattress only
Proportions visible a mile away
Angular lines and unexpected turns with quite the unconventional leg to stand on
Hanging hooks included
Rimmed on an intriguing slant
Hotter than hot
Whichever way you turn it, heads turn
Drawers glide on steel ball bearings
Quiet modern grace
Super calm, super soft
Cinched for an easy grip in the dark
Bent on being different
With teeth that grip like glacier-climbing crampons
An inviting tilt offers nibbles or dips
Flipped over, it does serving tray duty
Taper-thin, gorgeous
Exudes calm, legs crossed in perfect balance

2006-07-19T08:38:00.000-07:00

Update:

and then being the only one at the back of the bus means you can dance along to your iPod while no-one is watching

2006-07-19T08:22:00.001-07:00

A communication has been received:

two songs spring to mind; Tunnels and Power Out.

2006-07-19T07:26:00.000-07:00

Brian Damage: Teri Hatcher

Makes a change from George Harrison, I suppose.

2006-07-19T06:00:00.000-07:00

Minimum Wage & Snuggle Bear recreate scenes from classic movies

This week - Fight Club

Narrator: I'll tell you: we'll split up the week, okay? You take lymphoma, and tuberculosis...
Marla Singer: You take tuberculosis. My smoking doesn't go over at all.
Narrator: Okay, good, fine. Testicular cancer should be no contest, I think.
Marla Singer: Well, technically, I have more of a right to be there than you. You still have your balls.
Narrator: You're kidding.
Marla Singer: I don't know... am I?
Narrator: No, no! What do you want?
Marla Singer: : I'll take the parasites.
Narrator: You can't have both the parasites, but while you take the blood parasites...
Marla Singer: I want brain parasites.
Narrator: I'll take the blood parasites. But I'm gonna take the organic brain dementia, okay?
Marla Singer: I want that.
Narrator: You can't have the whole brain, that's...
Marla Singer: So far you have four, I only have two!
Narrator: Okay. Take both the parasites. They're yours. Now we both have three...

2006-07-18T20:19:00.000-07:00

Descriptions from the Summer 2006 Pottery Barn catalogue which can also be applied to me

Tufted by hand and finished with a wash
Drawers can be accessed from either side with wooden knobs
Place a tray on top to use it as a coffee table
Adjusts easily for a perffect fit
A dramatic focal point in a room
Expands from an intimate circle to a generous oval
Has movable parts and rests on a tripod
The vintage design conceals a host of conveniences
Perfect at the bedside
Marked by graceful curves
The arm pivots in two places
Available in both a standard width and double-width version for added drama

2006-07-18T14:04:00.000-07:00

Anyone?

2006-07-18T07:18:00.000-07:00

Visitor onehundredandninetysix thousand

2006-07-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

Ten songs about Chuckanucka

Chuckanucka And Unhappy - Air
Chuckanucka Inside Of Mobile With The Memphis Blues Again - Bob Dylan
Who The Chuckanucka? - Graham Coxon
Much Better Mr. Chuckanucka - Guided By Voices
Chuckanucka 'Ell It's Fred Titmus - Half Man Half Biscuit
Gee Amn't I Chuckanucka - Ivor Cutler
I Wish I Had Chuckanucka Feet - Orbital
Heaven Is A Chuckanucka - Pavement
Chuckanucka in Rhythm & Sorrow - Sugarcubes
Just Another Chuckanucka On The Vine - Tom Waits

2006-07-17T21:28:00.000-07:00

Plate o' shrimp

Honk if, just after Scooterdeb asked "Did you order the lobster?" at iHop, Rock Lobster started playing on the restaurant radio.

Just me, then?

2006-07-17T21:25:00.000-07:00

IHOP: chicken tortilla soup; herb roasted half chicken & red potatoes; Coke

2006-07-17T06:00:00.000-07:00

The Simplest Word Is Infinite
The poets came first,
Out of the shadows; selfish ghosts
In search of a single grave;
Carrying in their eroded hands
The names of the lost
To hang on every wall.

The simplest word is infinite,
The centre of a circle,
The difference between life and death.
You see, I am bad;
I can be mourned for an instant or less,
Even when your throat is on fire.

2006-07-16T22:45:00.000-07:00

Latebreaking birthdaypresent news!

Wee tiny nail polish!

2006-07-16T18:51:00.000-07:00

Sizzler (Torrance): Sizzler steak (8 oz.) and fries; lemonade

2006-07-16T10:00:00.000-07:00

Viewed 1000 times

2006-07-16T09:00:00.000-07:00

Band situation update:

[ ] I am in a band
[x] I am not in a band

2006-07-15T23:41:00.000-07:00

I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking that it isn't humanly possible to come up with a list of 50 albums that changed music that finds room for The Clash and the Strokes, but include Trout Mask Replica.

But it has been done.

2006-07-15T22:18:00.000-07:00

You have sadism stamped all over your bloated British kisser!

A Hard Day's Night at the Aero: fab gear.

2006-07-15T16:09:00.000-07:00

Ummmm....

2006-07-15T16:01:00.000-07:00

Love At First Sight, part II

The cocktails are flowing! Filled with our world-famous, gourmet glimmer for face, body, hair or anywhere, this fluffy, flow-through brush gets any evening off to a good start. Just twist the rhinestone-studded ring to unlock the power of the powder, give it a little shake, you’re good to get loaded on the seductive scent and flavor of a tropical Pina Colada/exotic Mai Tai/luscious Cosmopolitan. As the supersoft brush tickles skin, it dusts on our delicious shimmer for an intoxicating, tantalizing glow…looks, feels and tastes so good your head will be spinning!

2006-07-15T16:00:00.000-07:00

Love At First Sight, part I

Chuckanucka worries about pretty much everything under the sun: What if the phone rings when I go out? What if the mailman tries to deliver my Deluxe Ugly Earmuffs when I'm in the bathroom? Hey, I don't remember leaving the closet door open just a crack like that! What if I can't ever stop thinking about my name over and over?

Chuckanucka has a pretty strange way of looking at life. Sometimes he wonders if this is all just a hologram, and on other days he wonders what's going to happen if they stop making CD players... How will I play my favorite CDs??? I have over nine of them!!! Poor Chuckanucka. Lucky Chuckanucka.

2006-07-15T14:55:00.000-07:00

12:25 - 2:50pm: had a nap

2006-07-15T06:58:00.000-07:00

From the LA Weekly personals

ALTERNATIVE MEN

INTERESTING OPPORTUNITY - 59
Single, experienced gent. with great place at the ocean in Redondo, seeks a "housekeeper with benefits". Two days a week, preferably Friday and Saturdays. Part time to maintain condo, part time to entertain and be entertained. Knows how to treat a lady. Mutual chemistry a must with picture exchange. Please be petite, (exotic looking brunette preferred, age 28/42 years old), slim and trim, 5', 105 lbs to 5'6", 115 lbs. All reasonable responses answered quickly.

SUCCESSFUL WHITE MAN - 42 LOOKING FOR EXCITING YOUNG PRETTY GIRLS TO HANG OUT WITH AND SPOIL
INTERESTED CALL SHAWN

2006-07-14T22:05:00.000-07:00

P.F. Chang's: chicken fried rice; Coke

2006-07-14T08:21:00.000-07:00

Outside Venice postoffice.

But is it art?

2006-07-14T06:00:00.000-07:00

Survey: French Revolutionary Calendar vs. The Twelve Days of Christmas

1. Brumaire or a partridge in a pear tree?
2. Floréal or eight maids a-milking?
3. Frimaire or eleven pipers piping?
4. Fructidor or five gold rings?
5. Germinal or four calling birds?
6. Messidor or nine ladies dancing?
7. Nivôse or seven swans a-swimming?
8. Pluviôse or six geese a-laying?
9. Prairial or ten lords a-leaping?
10. Thermidor or three French hens?
11. Vendémiaire or twelve drummers drumming?
12. Ventôse or two turtle doves?

2006-07-13T18:34:00.000-07:00

Next to the dumpster.

But is it art?

2006-07-13T08:55:00.000-07:00

A communication has been received:

I had another dream about Wayne Coyne last night. We were hanging out and I kept mentioning how excited I was to attend the Hollywood Bowl show on 7/23 and each time I said it he would look at me like he had no idea what I was talking about. I couldn't tell if he was joking or seriously confused. He better show up on 7/23...

Send your celebrity dreams to the usual address.

2006-07-13T07:31:00.000-07:00

Viewed 1000 times

2006-07-13T06:00:00.000-07:00

If W.B. Yeats had been a Derryman

But I was young and foolish, so I was, and now am full of tears, so I am.

I will arise and go now, so I will, and go to Innisfree

She laid them upon her bosom, so she did

I have spread my dreams under your feet, so I have;
Tread softly because you tread upon my dreams, so you do.

Romantic Ireland's dead and gone, so it is

God has not appeared to the birds, so He hasn't.

A terrible beauty is born, so it is.

That is no country for old men, so it's not.

He holds her helpless breast upon his breast, so he does.

The beggars have changed places, so they have, but the lash goes on, so it does.

2006-07-12T20:35:00.000-07:00

From the Penny Saver

Free Thomasville dresser. 8'. You pick up.

Bathroom sink, $5. 30 pieces Shoes/clothing, 25 cents each.

100 bricks, good condition. $50/ all.

7 PERSON SPA
Never used, must sell, $2999 includes cover. Will deliver.

Glass ottaganel coffee table, $50.

Carrom board, $30. Call after 7pm.

Cocker spinals puppies, purebred, 8-weeks, male/ female, first shots, dewormed, tails docked.

2006-07-12T18:28:00.000-07:00

Number of largebreasted women wearing Beatles teeshirts on the way home this evening: 2

Nice!

2006-07-12T08:55:00.000-07:00

A communication has been received:

Had a dream that I was sitting with Bernie Mac at some crappy chain restaurant. We talked for a long time about nothing, and both had an extremely nice time with that. The waitress came by, and he ordered us both cheeseburgers. I thanked him but no, I don't eat much meat, really. He said that I'd better eat it or he'd slap all the black offa me. Still, I didn't eat it.

Send your celebrity dreams to the usual address.

2006-07-12T07:31:00.000-07:00

The day was like any other, except that this was a Wednesday so it was really only like 1/7th of the other days.

2006-07-12T06:00:00.000-07:00

Minimum Wage & Snuggle Bear recreate scenes from classic movies

This week - Fargo

MAN: So, I'm tendin' bar there at Ecklund & Swedlin's last Tuesday and this little guy's drinkin' and he says, "So where can a guy find some action? I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake." And I says, "What kinda action?" and he says, "Woman action, what do I look like?" And I says, "Well, what do I look like, I don't arrange that kinda thing," and he says, "I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake," and I says, "Well, this ain't that kinda place."
GARY: Uh-huh.
MAN: So he says, "So I get it, so you think I'm some kinda jerk for askin'," only he doesn't use the word jerk.
GARY: I unnerstand.
MAN: And then he calls me a jerk and says the last guy who thought he was a jerk is dead now. So I don't say nothin' and he says, "What do ya think about that?" So I says, "Well, that don't sound like too good a deal for him then."
GARY: Ya got that right.
MAN: And he says, "Yah, that guy's dead and I don't mean a old age." And then he says, "Geez, I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake."
GARY: White Bear Lake?
MAN: Well, Ecklund & Swedlin's, that's closer ta Moose Lake, so I made that assumption.
GARY: Oh sure.
MAN: So, ya know, he's drinkin', so I don't think a whole great deal of it, but Mrs. Mohra heard about the homicides out here and she thought I should call it in, so I called it in. End a story.

2006-07-11T21:21:00.000-07:00

Ihop: grilled chicken breast & red potatoes; Coke

2006-07-11T17:19:00.000-07:00

All of us who were ever deeply touched by his unique gifts and his tragic life story should bow our heads and offer up a minute's silence to this remarkable individual for the way he enriched our lives.

But it's only in Bike, the strange closing number, which seems to wander off and never quite come back, that we get the first intimation of Syd Barrett, sui generis.

2006-07-11T11:51:00.000-07:00

161

2006-07-11T07:37:00.000-07:00

With the other personnel keeping pace, he'd gone far into the cosmos and back musically with Astronomy Domine, and disconnected with Earth altogether on Interstellar Overdrive.

2006-07-11T06:00:00.000-07:00

Ten films about campsites on the Queen Charlotte Islands

Heaven's Agate Beach
Play Misty Meadows For Me
Haydn Turner And Hooch
Being Papa John's Malkovich
Ghost In The Sheldons Bay
For A Few Dollars Moresby Camp
The Quatermasset RV Site Experiment
Comfort And Joys Camping
The Rennell Sound Of Music
The Picture Of Dorian Gray Bay

2006-07-10T22:50:00.000-07:00

Domestic vignette

Me: "Did he just say 'Let's plug my pants in and see if they still work'?"
Everybody else in the room: " ... "
Me: "No?"
MS: "Where's Malaysia?"
Me: "Somewhere in Asia, I think."
MS: "Why does it say Malaysia on every crayon?"
Me: "Well, the climate there is particularly well suited to the cultivation of crayons."
MS: " ... "
Me: "The monsoon lends a unique vibrancy to the colours."
MS: " ... "
Me: "In other parts of the world crayon farmers can only harvest one crop per year, but Malaysian crayons are biannual."
MS: " ... "

2006-07-10T21:05:00.000-07:00

But is it art?

2006-07-10T17:24:00.000-07:00

McCartney was nothing if not determined.

2006-07-10T15:00:00.000-07:00

She: "My friend thinks she saw you on MTV at the weekend."
Me: " ... "
She: "She called me up and asked for your website address so she could see what you look like."
Me: "But....she met me; why does she need to see a photograph?"
She: " ... "
Me: "I wasn't on MTV at the weekend."
She: "That's what I thought."
Me: "Not Music Television, anyway. Was it the Magnificent Transvestite channel?"
She: " ... "
Me: "Because there's a better chance of me appearing on that."
She: " ... "

2006-07-10T06:00:00.000-07:00

The Secrets Kept By Men
The secrets kept by men dig slowly through bones,
Seeping into the sorrowful earth,
Filling the night with anger.
A carrion crow circles the eternally fading day,
Thirsting for revenge – a purity of purpose
Unhurried as winter.

I have suffered one single sentence of satisfaction.
I have felt every pain twice,
Repeating the story’s grim essentials on my sacred skin,
Regretting the weeping words I wasted.
Truth is fatal, a false trail:
I am ruined, tortured, doomed.

2006-07-09T21:10:00.000-07:00

Penny Lane has become synonymous with the Beatles and is part of Liverpool's and the UK's proud music heritage

2006-07-09T20:05:00.000-07:00

"Mais pourquoi? Mais pourquoi?"

2006-07-09T14:00:00.000-07:00

Now that really is a headbutt.

2006-07-09T09:00:00.000-07:00

Band situation update:

[ ] I am in a band
[x] I am not in a band

2006-07-09T00:00:00.000-07:00

Dude, tomorrow's already the tenth.

2006-07-08T22:15:00.000-07:00

A communication has been received:

From the stall in the monica 4 plex

2006-07-08T13:55:00.000-07:00

A communication has been received:

My mom just called me.

"Hey, you got some package."

I said, "Oh yeah, that's probably the mustard and ketchup pumps I ordered for the BBQ."

She said, "No, the envelope has a Bob Dylan quote on it."

2006-07-08T13:43:00.000-07:00

Japanese chocolate digestives!

Tasty!

2006-07-08T09:25:00.000-07:00

From the LA Weekly personals

ALTERNATIVE MEN

Woman Spoiler Nice looking guy 42 yr,fit & independent ,self employed living in Santa Barbara seeks carcation or Asian female 21 to 35 for a fun exchange type light relationship arrangement, ,no games, non smoker ,honest,upbeat personality

MEN SEEKING WOMEN

SEXY GREENEYED ROCKER - 35
I am a cute white rocker with boyish looks,5'11",165,atletic,very fit body,long brown hair to shoulders,light green almond shaped eyes,down to earth,fun,have a good job,live in hollywood seeking cute inshape or slim female for relationship.send pic and I will send one back.

2006-07-08T09:05:00.000-07:00

Celebrity dream: Leonard Nimoy

2006-07-07T20:00:00.000-07:00

On Venice Way.

But is it art?

2006-07-07T06:00:00.000-07:00

Survey: Amerika vs. Lemmings

1. THE STOKER or Builder?
2. UNCLE JACOB or Floater?
3. A COUNTRY HOUSE NEAR NEW YORK or Bomber?
4. THE ROAD TO RAMESES or Blocker?
5. THE HOTEL OCCIDENTAL or Climber?
6. THE CASE OF ROBINSON or Basher?
7. A REFUGE or Digger?
8. THE NATURE THEATRE OF OKLAHOMA or Miner?

2006-07-06T22:43:00.000-07:00

From the Penny Saver

14' EXTENDABLE LATTER
aluminum. 2 piece. Good condition. Free.

Egyptian/ Giant Papyrus, mature ready to take home. $20.

Cardio glides, excellent condition. $40.

Kirby Heritage upright vacuum. $50.

POCKET BIKE
Good condition. $100.

Fixed female dog, looking for good home. 6 years old, pretty, affectionate. $25.

GEORGEOUS BUCKSKIN MARE
4-years old, broke to ride. Great with kids! $5,500 obo.

2 SETS OF BUNKBEDS
One is Twin top with foldable futon on bottom. And Twin top/ full size bottom. $100 each.

2006-07-06T11:38:00.000-07:00

Visitor onehundredandninetyfive thousand

2006-07-06T09:25:00.000-07:00

2006-07-06T06:00:00.000-07:00

If Ghostbusters had been filmed in Derry

This chick is toast, so she is!

This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions, so it is.

I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought, so I am.

We came, so we did, we saw, so we did, we kicked its ass, so we did.

Back off, man. I'm a scientist, so I am.

I was present at an undersea unexplained mass sponge migration, so I was.

Generally you don't see that kind of behavior in a major appliance. so you don't.

This man has no dick, so he hasn't.

Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, so they did.

I want you inside me, so I do.

2006-07-05T23:46:00.000-07:00

Bowling!

2006-07-05T15:32:00.000-07:00

But is it art?

2006-07-05T08:29:00.000-07:00

Next to the dumpster.

But is it art?

2006-07-05T06:00:00.000-07:00

Minimum Wage & Snuggle Bear recreate scenes from classic movies

This week - Duck Soup

Rufus T. Firefly: "Not that I care, but where is your husband?"
Mrs. Teasdale: "Why, he's dead."
Rufus T. Firefly: "I bet he's just using that as an excuse."
Mrs. Teasdale: "I was with him to the very end."
Rufus T. Firefly: "No wonder he passed away."
Mrs. Teasdale: " I held him in my arms and kissed him."
Rufus T. Firefly: " Oh, I see, then it was murder. Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first."

2006-07-04T23:04:00.000-07:00

Couldn't get a decent photograph of the Independence Day fireworks display on Venice Beach this evening, so here's a picture of my ass instead.

2006-07-04T10:00:00.000-07:00

"Q" Is For Dr. Tran

2006-07-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

Ten songs about signatories of the Declaration of Independence

Josiah Bartlett It Be - The Beatles
The Boy With Matthew Thornton In His Side - The Smiths
Robert Treat Painetball's Coming Home - Half Man Half Biscuit
My Valuable Samuel Huntington Knife - Guided By Voices
Philip Livingston On The Ceiling - Blancmange
A John Witherspoonful Weighs A Ton - The Flaming Lips
The Girls Want To Be George Wythe The Girls - Talking Heads
Beginning To See The Francis Lightfoot Lee - The Velvet Underground
The Man Joseph Hewes Head Expanded - The Fall
Stuck In The Arthur Middleton With You - Stealers Wheel

2006-07-03T20:15:00.000-07:00

Ihop: three eggs (sunny side up) & hash browns, three pancakes; Coke

2006-07-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

Easy Prey
The man who knows too little
Goes to bed hungry,
Lonelier than anything he could have imagined,
Enticed by a woman incapable of love.

This is the way things are.

2006-07-02T16:02:00.000-07:00

3:15 - 3:55pm: had a nap

2006-07-02T09:00:00.000-07:00

Band situation update:

[ ] I am in a band
[x] I am not in a band

2006-07-01T23:44:00.000-07:00

Honk if you just saw a young lady strip off all her clothes outside the Bank of America in Venice and tump over all the trashcans onto the sidewalk, all the while screaming blue murder at passersby.

Just me, then?

2006-07-01T23:00:00.000-07:00

Ihop: three eggs (sunny side up) & hash browns, three pancakes; Coke

2006-07-01T16:00:00.000-07:00

3:15 - 3:55pm: had a nap

2006-07-01T12:00:00.000-07:00

Wembley must have been a sea of smiles

Honk if your Dad, when he was living in Mill Hill in 1966, went to Wembley Stadium to buy tickets for England's games in the group stage of the World Cup and took a wrong turn and ended up on the pitch - just him and some cleaning staff in the stadium - before finding out that he had to go to a ticket office in central London, which he did and paid seven-and-sixpence to see each of the three games; then he had to give a tout a fiver to see that illtempered quarterfinal against Argentina.

Just me, then?

2006-07-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

From the LA Weekly personals

ALTERNATIVE MEN

house husband seeing long term affair
Hello If you are a female married or not, 40+years young, and would like to go to museums, movies, lunch etc during the week we should hook-up. Those are my public interests, in private I love to give foot massages and read erotic literature written by female authors such as Anais Nin. I am married male, in fairly good shape, and although 60 years old look several years younger. I have a youthful looking bod and face topped by gray hair. I am willing to travel through LA and Orange counties. SOO, for starters, lets get acuainted over coffee.

MEN SEEKING WOMEN

Lovers who like each other
Seeking friendship which is based on being lovers who like each other. And to sometimes go out places like hikes and dinner. I prefer being monogamous with one woman (distinct from being monogamous just by myself). I'm very busy with work, and studies in art, physics, humor, nutrition (aka humors), innovative massage technology, other related sensible subjects, and some subjects which do not make sense yet.
But I need and want delightful time. I'm a caring lover. I prefer soft-touching rather than being wild, and I have good control (of my parts). I'm a caring person otherwise, too.
Your age and etceteras are a lot less important than how we feel together. Please be clean and honest. I'm clean, healthy, 55, 5'6", 175 lbs., a little chubby, all parts are in good working and playing order, and I can't make babies.
If all this sounds close to what you seek, then we will probably be able to figure out how to help each other feel happier.

i am (called) a handsome, talented poet-actor, couch-bed patato who enjoys air america radio 1150 am, TCM film noir et al, hates george bush and family/friends, iso petite, slim, blue-eyed, blonde mannequin,who writes &/or paints, sings or plays, 35--50 to hang out with and become a greater person primarily by experiencing time and space with me. i am leo and fear scorpions. anyone else, come aboard. i like to see plays and art exhibits and into health food and delicious appetites. i have been published w/ critically acclaimed book of poetry and you have probably seen me on tv or in films. you may refer to me as silverstar 13.

WOMAN TO WOMAN

You Had Me at Hello ( Woman seeking Woman, NO MEN please) -
Call me old fashioned but I believe in love, love at first sight and chemistry between two people. Type of Chemistry that can not be explain in words...
Hi, I am an attached attractive Asian Female who is craving all the best money can't buy. I crave beautiful mind and body and looking for someone to explore with me. I am a busy professional,5'4", medium built with long black hair. There isn't a receipe for this so let's make it up as we go. Some of the main ingredients are: connection, creativity and honesty.
Please, no D/D. Social drinker or social smoker only.

2006-06-30T23:59:00.000-07:00

A selection of June's search results:

saddleback church webcam; jelaila starr weight; corsets in yeovil; jennifer gray nude; horny moms next door doing naked yoga; plastic swaddle fetish; "erica campbell in pantyhose"; "naked girls" at "baja cantina"; stockings Vs Tights; erica campbell dresses as wonder woman; foot fetishes in Joyce's Ulysses; cookies muff nude; Kate Wenger naked; "Italian Breasts"; site:blogspot.com gilded palace of sin; I'm naked in bathtub!; "jennifer york" stripper; nigella lawson pig-in-a-blanket; peter baxter on the naked thighs of miss dietrich; erica campbell boob crush;

"self made millionaire at 14"; naked women feeling herself in erotic ways public; "rob barbato"; eddie izzard venn clip; "novena to st. cajetan"; carol chell skirt; angora blowjob blog; nude shimmering breasts; PLYWOOD VERSES OSB; freaky ficus soup; life of brian-chords; "oscar goldman" fanfiction; Ice-t Wife Coco naked Pictures; smell of sweat in a latex catsuit; Busty sudsy fun in the hotbox; "sun in virgo moon in scorpio "; sharon tay sex tape; photos of meg ryan sucking cock in the cut; "seeing robert downey"; MICHELLE HEATON IN TIGHTS;

Jean-Claude Van Damme/buttocks/photos; colonics used by patricia heaton; angry naked pat "Icecream fantasies"; feminisation cranberry; sexy iranian women in stockings and high heels; anti semats; adolf hitler crossdressing pictures; "Winona Ryder" waist corset; lesbian "erica and molly"; sexy pictures of beatles wife; "planet of the canapes"; dursley davis underwear; photos fifers lane UEA; i'm an idiot what's your excuse brian damage; carnhill high school derry; PAKISTANI WEDDING NIGHT WITH SEXY PICTURES; Lauren O'Prey blog; female pin down catfights wearing short skirts and stockings and suspenders; brainerd "wet t-shirt" pics; daleth erotica;

piper the librarian; "pictures of my wife" on the French Riviera; "cafe brasil" venice; busty turntablist photo; sam rohdie belfast; insatiable unscrambled; "licking my own pussy"; women sucking on women's tits pictures; paige davis look alike sex tape; "big breasted librarians"; Breck Shampoo "and they told two" actress; hairy ninetythree... ; sneakers on Abbot Kinney; real cowgirls drive pickup trucks bumper stickers; sexy goths panties licking; darcey bussell leather boots picture; eyebright cleavage; how to steps and photos on crossdressing; "weed thrasher" complaints; patricia-heaton+mutton;

nude flight attendant sharon williams; self -portraits photobooth nico ; "gregory abenante"; erica campbell merry masturbation; stuck inside of moville; "gretchen corbett" "cocaine"; christopher morley(crossdresser); illtyd ulysses; X-files gillian anderson ticklish; erica campbell "black tights"; i'm nude for your free pictures; "brian mccloskey" santa monica; bunthorne crossword; nude sexy night elf erotic concept art; pictures of lauren hutton posing nude; chaka khan nude; posing nude versus posing naked; what is a baby was sucking on a desiccant silica gel bag; crossdressing how to make my face more girlie; chuck berry + mustard fetish

2006-06-30T23:21:00.000-07:00

Mother Pus Bucket

Yeah, it was great.

2006-06-30T18:15:00.000-07:00

Special message for the lady in the back of the white BMW at Venice Way & Main Street:

Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer.

2006-06-30T15:58:00.000-07:00

Cake!

2006-06-30T06:00:00.000-07:00

Survey: Guide to the Queen Charlotte Islands 2006 Edition

1. You have entered a different world

or

Moresby Island has 35 minutes of paved road!?

2. Look for the proliferation of gorse bushes blooming in spring

or

A gathering of artisans and colourful inhabitants make this area an interesting stop?

3. Today the main industry is still logging

or

Watch for the dugout canoe at the ballfield at the far end of town?

4. Halibut, salmon and steelhead offer great sport

or

Despite a rare hot spot or two cell phones cannot transmit on the islands?

5. Many migrating birds stop here to rest

or

It's open and definitely worth the walk past the new buildings?

6. Worried about restless kids in cars?

or

Burnaby Narrows is the best place to view intertidal life?

7. Owners Deb and Brian can also take you out fishing in their 22 1/2-foot charter vessel

or

Unfortunately due to red tide restrictions clamming is not allowed?

8. I could take my big size 12 boot and turn it every which way in this behemoth's mouth and not touch any side in the process

or

I believe him!?

9. To identify a figure be aware of the traditional parts

or

Pick up a rock and check out what's underneath?

10. (So far, no one has answered that question definitively.)

or

Ten years later the decayed post crashed to the ground in a fierce wind?

2006-06-29T23:22:00.000-07:00

“They said, ‘We know you’re great, but we don’t know if you’re any good.’”

2006-06-29T10:37:00.000-07:00

Google gum!

2006-06-29T06:00:00.000-07:00

If The Great Gatsby had been written by a Derryman:

We all looked, so we did — the knuckle was black and blue, so it was.

Making a short deft movement, Tom Buchanan broke her nose with his open hand, so he did.

I am one of the few honest people that I have ever known, so I am.

They were composed of oddly familiar pieces of ivory, so they were.

His count of enchanted objects had diminished by one, so it had.

At his lips’ touch she blossomed for him like a flower, so she did, and the incarnation was complete, so it was.

So we drove on toward death through the cooling twilight, so we did.

“You’re worth the whole damn bunch put together, so you are.”

So we beat on, so we do, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

2006-06-28T22:27:00.000-07:00

Special message for Meredith:

I got your package.

2006-06-28T20:42:00.000-07:00

7:10 - 8:40pm: had a nap

2006-06-28T08:23:00.000-07:00

At the busstop

But is it art?

2006-06-28T08:21:00.000-07:00

Honk if you spilled milk all over your newlylaundered trousers this morning.

Just me, then?

2006-06-28T06:00:00.000-07:00

Minimum Wage & Snuggle Bear recreate scenes from classic movies

This week - The Graduate

Benjamin: "Oh my god."
Mrs. Robinson: "Pardon?"
Benjamin: "Oh no, Mrs. Robinson. Oh no."
Mrs. Robinson: "What's wrong?"
Benjamin: "Mrs. Robinson, you didn't... I mean, you didn't expect... "
Mrs. Robinson: "What?"
Benjamin: " I mean, you didn't really think I'd do something like that."
Mrs. Robinson: "Like what?"
Benjamin: "What do you think? "
Mrs. Robinson: "Well, I don't know."
Benjamin: "For god's sake, Mrs. Robinson. Here we are. You got me into your house. You give me a drink. You... put on music. Now you start opening up your personal life to me and tell me your husband won't be home for hours."
Mrs. Robinson: "So?"
Benjamin: "Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me."

2006-06-27T22:55:00.000-07:00

A communication has been received:

But is it art?

And there's more:

Send photos of the back of your head to the usual address.